Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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