I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
