As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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