i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she told me i tasted like america
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
