Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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