Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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