I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
