there's paper in my vomit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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