I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
