Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
