Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She even gives head with a lisp.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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