just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
