Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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