Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
