I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize