Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
