I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize