; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
