just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
