I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
