so let's talk penis.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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