He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
