i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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