He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
