I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
