dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
