Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
