never play flip cup with pint glasses
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
