so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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