We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
