You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
