im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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