I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
