I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So much rum. So many feels.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
