Your mouth is God's brothel.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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