I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
