Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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