I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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