It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
