They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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