oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
