I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize