My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish life had little blips of pornography
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
