Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
