is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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