carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize