Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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