Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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