Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
