I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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