Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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