Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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