I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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