Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
