ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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