Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
