i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
