im gay
i know
yea but for you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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